9月17号 - 2014

一连三天。

好厌倦这种考试的日子。

真的很煎熬...

再给我一点时间

今天看到家人，
只是一两个小时。

家人一切都安好，
可是见到他们我的心却感到无比的痛,
不知道是自己真的很累了,
看到可以依靠的人，
却不敢上前去得到依靠。
还是看到家人真的变老了，
很心痛。

再给我几年的时间，
我会把家扛起来的。

二十年来

自认无情的我，
总是硬把自己塑造成一个冰冷的人。
殊不知，我也有这么一天。

连续快半年了，
终究不知道我哪里出了问题 。
是我压抑情感的系统产生故障了，
还是早已故障了的情感系统被打通了？

或许这一切只是个初老的现象，
没什么大不了。
也说明不了什么 。。

哪怕一堵堵坚硬的围墙也会抵挡不住岁月的摧残，
而面临崩塌的一天。
何况这只是一堵谈不上什么坚强的（心）墙？
我的(心）墙。

从来不知道与朋友短暂的离别可以令我如此揪心。
 才学到，
原来与朋友离别，
是可以多么的不舍。

谢谢你们让我学会了接受别人的存在感。

我无法开口对你们坦诚。
不过，
我还是有所行动的。
我把珍贵的情感通过文字记载下来。
希望哪一天，
你们看到了，
也知道我也是有感性的一面。

我想说，
渐渐的，
心扉打开了。

是时候准备学习接受不一样的情感了。

Homecoming

I am taking a risk. In returns, I hope the efforts will blossom and be fruitful. Stay tuned.

Darkness? Let's just say my clarity is clouded.

Hi, blog. It is between me and you again. I just hope you don't stay silent like you always do.

It terrifies me to suddenly find out that my hatred actually grows two folds. I am so horrified of thinking what kind of person I might become when this level of hatred eventually swallows me. A monster will be born.

I don't quite feel love anymore. I don't know how long I could suppress myself to hate. I know it is just a matter of time before I let the monster out of the cage. Even if I were the first person to be eaten alive for setting it free, I know I will be free from pain once and for all at the very least.

Regardless of how people giving "struggling" or "fighting" as the interpretation to "trying your best", either way they are gonna give in to fate. It is because the more the people try to lay a hand on fate, the more they are going to grow tired. They then surrender to fate even though they have choices. Why? Because seeking a glimpse of peacefulness is what all humans ever desire at the end of the day (as their last wish).

Know what? You and I should just learn to give up. Save the work already! We are stuck in the slides of our individual memories, you and I don't get to change a shit. We merely live in the slides being projected on the screen, neither do you live in the present. Because you are the past of your future living in a series of memory fragments painted on pictures projected in motion that are being played over and over again. It is a loop with no escapes, and of course things will happen and end the same in the loop!

...these written words are not opened for speculations. Making judgments won't do, as it definitely requires much efforts to understand them. Anyway, I am feeling all better now.