Unbearably suffering

Right now there is no one else awake other than me. Loneliness is so overwhelming. Realizing hours later is the moment of departing, it adds on much more unspoken mixed feeling to the existing sadness, making the feeling stronger and much unbearable. There will be examinations carried out as soon as I can imagine. However, this time I am no longer well-prepared as I was. I lazed around, my fighting spirit vanished, resulting me-the scared and worried. I'm thinking to give up. I am not motivated at all. I have failed too many times. I'm just scared. I am not convinced. I think I have lost the fight.