It's night again, I'm back to my room as usual. It feels different today. I sense something is going wrong and the difference wakes me from my fantasy. I never felt anything for the past 8 months. I finally feel something now and the feeling is triggered by a small problem. This can tell how weak I have been, just a small matter but the way I react to it making it it matters a lot. I should stand up again after today. Otherwise, I suspect that I'm having severe depression. Knowing the pain is a good sign after all.
I know this is what I wanted when I was unable to...now I can...and the pain is not enough to stop me.....
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