Those times

I remember when I was younger I had this little thing for this girl. She was a Chindian. Being a hybrid, she was already so special to me, what attracted me more was her behaviour. I'm sure that many who knew her would say she was weird. I would not say she was weird, I would say special instead. She was defensive, rowdy and sometimes selfish but I found her charming. She was not the kind of girl whom you can come along with easily. Her temper and defense system would challenge your patience for each second. We had so many issues when we worked together because we did not see eye-to-eye about many things. Later, we became closer day by day after spending some time together. I really enjoyed the moment with her and found her truly unique. The whole thing lasted for about a year or so when she suddenly vanished into thin air. Like a magician, she disappeared in a puff of smoke and ended her brilliant show while I was as naive as a kid, still enjoying the show and expecting more surprises. I waited, but the magician never came back again......

More Than Gratitude

It is the end of a period again. Throughout this period, I had too much fun and thrilling moments. I am thankful to be who and where I am.

Grieving

No matter how brave someone claims to be, he would be fear when the darkness comes. We are humans, fearless is not a part of us. So, when we feel that thing is getting out of hand, we probably become pessimistic in a way that we don't take chances, giving up on something before it disappoints us. Deep inside, we have given up ourselves to our fear, allowing it to tear our hearts apart.

How do I do?

Been very busy this week. Have lots of thoughts and feelings to be converted into writing.

Gimme some time.

I will do fine tomorrow.

Traumatized

Basically, I just eat and sleep. 
I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I feel so lost and aimless.

With so many things waiting me to handle, I'd rather to waste my time procrastinating.

This is bad because I'm avoiding problems.

I'm scared...

Put it down

Time goes by.
No time to cry.
Life's you and I.
Alive, today.

God, I'm being weak.

Guide me.

Diary of April, 2012.

24th April, 2012

- It has come to a new chapter of life. This time, I'm doing some alterations to it. My family and I have fingers crossed that the changes will bring some positive outcomes. We are not always given a second chance in our lifetime to try something out. 

- The clock is ticking, indicating the time is ticking away second by second. Inside of us, we all have a biological clock that controls us. Thanks to this biological clock, we develop into a mass of cells from zygote, then become a newborn baby. We then grow up from kid to teenager. Eventually, we age and die and leave no sign of our existence to the next generation. 

- I have this intention to start a very memorable story of my own. It will highlight my day with laughter and become meaningful remembrance when I'm aged decades later. So, I will experiment about it in this new stage of life. 

25th April, 2012

- When there is a girl causes your heart pounding fast, I can tell that you are afraid of her. Scared.

26th April, 2012
- The time is up! You don't have time to laze around. Focus on what you should do before it is too late. History will happen all over again when you forget about the lesson it brings. Make yourself clear that, it won't be easy to get through it for the second time.
- All this time you have been searching for a reason. You think you deserve a reason. No, you don't deserve it, and you probably won't get one either.

27th April, 2012
- Seriously, time management is everything.
- To get started, it is to start all over. I feel exhausted. I am tired...owned...doomed!

- Be strong, there will always be a way. By keep walking on the journey, you will find the exit eventually. For now, you find the journey cold and miserable, somehow you will reach the desired destination someday. When you leave the darkness, there will be warm sun, white cloud, blue sky, green field and chill wind welcoming you. Endure the pain!  

28th April, 2012

- Taking steps to get paranoia killed. :-)

29th April, 2012

- I think I will lose the fight. I cant find back the fighting spirit I used to have.

- I really have changed...in a negative way.