Live A Lie

I wanted to say something, I found it not helpful to have it spoken somehow:

I saw some angels surrounding the town.
They were not as perfect as the story told.
They were imperfect because they had broken wings.
It did not matter anyway, because they helped the needy.

I saw the devils in an old back street.
Rumour had it they were evil looking and scary.
This was untrue. Perhaps they were the most beautiful things on Earth.
It did not matter anyway, because they ripped out the human hearts.

How much do you see?
Do you notice what is going on in the world?
Do you see the truth or do you blind yourself?

More than words

It makes me feeling great when I have someone who ask about my day everytime I log on to my account.

The Figures!!

Accounting is killing me. T.T

The Present

Christmas is around the corner.
This year my Christmas present is slightly different than usual.


This is the first present given by a friend last night.
I want to keep it here forever.

  Merry Early Christmas,  
  everyone!

Truth 4

Faith is the medicine.
Faith can heal you.

Truth 3

You have to live life.
Keep moving forward.

Truth 2

Everyone has his own story behind everything. 

It could be a very sad one...
We could either delve into the truth that hides deep down or leave him alone.

Truth

''The dog that barks doesn't bite.'' 

Although it doesn't tell the complete story, 

but I hope people understand the meaning. 

We should keep an eye on the biting dog, not the barking dog. ^^

很准！ 【给白羊座的1封信】

白羊的人生可以用两个字概括：纠结。不管从哪一方面来说

白羊本身就是一个矛盾的个体。与白羊相恋须知：1.很慢热 我很冷漠 2.很直接 讨厌转弯 3.不喜欢说话 也不喜欢你太吵 4.喜欢自由的感觉 讨厌啰嗦 5.心智很成熟 看事很透彻 6.很绝 7.需要行动证明你爱我。

羊羊人看上去不拘小节 其实感情上道德上有绝对洁癖 触动原则的任何错误哪怕再小都没有办法弥补 决绝的转身 不回头 不难过 不留遗憾 不内疚 因为内心已经想的很明白 问心无愧 犀利得一塌糊涂。

你的一点关心 心思细腻的白羊会记得你对他的好 把自己的爱毫无保留的送给你 白羊是不被了解的 可他们不会怨谁。他们会傻傻的认为 让我承担吧 别让别人也受到伤害。所以 别让他们最有魅力的笑容成为掩饰痛苦的伪装 认真爱白羊。你会知道白羊的爱 是充满泪水的。

羊羊内心都很善良很柔软。羊羊内在的感性绝对不会亚于双鱼 羊羊真的是毫无心机地活在这个世界上 TA善良得如此无私 往往让人觉得不真实。TA很怕很怕被人误解 尤其是被自己在乎的人误解。羊羊其实本身真的很正直 确实耍不来心机 即使不被理解 被误解 也依旧试着解释。

白羊的反击力很强 吵架的时侯 羊羊可能会说一些很让人伤心的话 相信我 羊羊真的不是故意的 那是TA的直觉反应 吵架就是要吵赢嘛！羊羊很可能一说出口就后悔了 可是经常很难拉下脸来 衷心的道歉。不要跟白羊生气 放TA一马我保证TA心里会很感激 对你加倍的好。

羊很懒 不想活得那麼累 能简单尽量简单 不爱解释 始终认为懂自己的不用解释 不懂自己的不必解释 不相管那麼多不相干的事 TA们只挑自己爱做的事 要么不做 要做就做到最好 其实羊羊也是完美主义者 极端主义者 要么破碎 要么完美 不要中间。

白羊座 对好朋友可以很热情 乱七八糟聊个不停 对比较普通的朋友很冷淡 聊不上几句就沉默。羊羊很珍惜对他/她好的朋友 TA感觉是坏的 便有意疏离。羊羊的普通朋友很多 好朋友没几个。羊羊很孤独 常常自己一个人 一个人吃饭 一个人上学 一个人逛街 一个人发呆。

白羊真的没办法一心二用 聊手机时会把电影暂停 工作时不知道听的是哪首歌 思考时不知道你在说的什么 因为羊羊的注意力只能集中在其中之一 白羊们更不会去花心 因为羊羊喜欢简单 脚踩两条船对羊羊而言是非常麻烦及复杂的事情 羊羊懒得去做 因为羊羊真的很懒

LIfe

Sometimes, realization is not enough.
We need to spend time to undo the mistakes result by our own silliness.

Unrealistic Approach

Dude, catch up the pace! ...before you get kicked out by the System.
You have been fantasizing everything which doesnt belong to your world.
Just stay focused on something for you which is uneasily attainable.

.....(It's too late to cry over spilt milk.)

Murmur

Hey, why do you show this face?
It's a good start....
It's a good start....

Take a deep breath and let it happen.

I know this is not easy.
It's time to make a change.

So, smile! Tell the world that you're okay!

Luck

I had gone through it, it's an unbelievably relief.
Although still imperfect and almost let nerve got me,
but I think it was the best by me already.
Atleast, I experienced this and will make it useful for my future.
Experience comes before anything, Im working on it now.
With faith, each step I take, I get closer to my dream.

Thanks to everyone who encourages me.
I know people are loving me.
They granted me so many chances.

Helpless

Im extremely nervous. Really really really nervous...
God please help me.

I dont own the copyright LOL

Aries children have energy in abundance, are usually strong, active, and enthusiastic. You better be physically in great shape to keep up with the little Ram. They seem to never get tired and after a day full of physical activity, the Aries child keeps going while you might gasp for air. Being curious and adventurous, little Arians want to know everything, explore, and investigate. Without fear they venture into new territory all the time, be it a high tree, a playground, or a year abroad. They love challenges, so offering them opportunities to compete either in sports or at play or in school keeps them from being bored too quickly. Aries children need a lot of watching, especially when they are very young, as they can also be quite stubborn and won't accept a "No" easily. Resisting control, they need to know who is in charge, as they are very determined to do everything their very own way. Although young Arians can be quite sweet and affectionate one minute, they can be challenging and angry the next. They need a lot of reassurance, attention, and need to know they are loved. Being ruled by Mars, it is no wonder that they can display a hot temper but they can forget it as quickly as it came. As natural born leaders, Aries children will take the lead in their group, be it at school, or college, or in their circle of friends. However, it can be difficult for them to lose and as difficult to learn how to share and that they cannot win every game. Young Arians are a delight to be around, and they will certainly never bore you! Your favorite moments will be when you can jump into their fantasyland with them and get swept away by their courageous lead into the unknown. They have an untamed spirit that is always ready for adventure!

Thankful

Im not greedy actually,
I just want people to say something neutral to me,
then it will be helpful enough to make me happy for the whole day.

God,
I just realize that,
no matter how luxurious life I have or how successful I am,
my heart is blank without your blessing.
I cant live without you.
You listen to my prayer.
You are always there listening to me.

Reflection

What I can do now is to trust my family and my TRUE friend.

I will do everything good to them and to myself.

Good thing is, it strengthens my family and TRUE friend's position in my heart.

It teaches me another lesson which costs least damage.

It makes my body, mind and soul stronger.

It reminds me to forgive.

It is the forgiveness to people who caused trouble.

It's to forgive them and remove them permanently from my world.

Sinner

I can never keep grudge inside me. It's a sin.
God will punish them.

Hedge

 

I stayed awake the whole night working hard for my future.
Today, the ugly truth tells me, I've been working for somebody's future.

It's a if-you-dont-eat-them-you-will-be-eaten society.
Or, you can say so, it's a using or being used society.

 

现实

来日方长，我还会一个接一个的block下去。死心。。
没有人是完美的， 当别人没有责备你的不完美时，我觉得你没必要一直数陋人家。
：）

The Light

I start to learn to be confident on myself. A very helpful friend has taught me this.
A thousands of thank you.

Emptiness

I've nowhere to speak to all the times.
I know at the end of the day, family is the only person really cares about me.
But what if they dont understand you when you tell them?
They will just accept your problem as kid fight and child story which are unimportant.
It makes me extremely sad when they deny me in the way they response to my agony.
This has been happening since many years ago....since I was in Kindergarten time.
Never a time they realize the great loneliness hidden behind my smile and immaturity.
I speak to myself, cry alone, settle something in fear and face many challenges and problems myself.
I dont need anything other than some comforting and calming words.
I just want you to say, I'm great, you're happy to have me around and you will be there whenever I need someone. That's all, show some verbal appreciation about my existence in this lonely world.
Although I know myself clearly that, they will do anything to protect me when danger strikes.
There's no need for them to make make it clear and plain.
I should have figured it out myself. I should know this myself.
I do know this..but I need some support from time to time.
I need acknowledge, respect, understanding and acceptance from my family.
You are all I have, you are all I need.
You are the source of my energy for survival as well.
But, why never a time my family never think that:
-I'm good when I'm the top scholar in the school? (I'm not acknowledged at all when they compared me with students with the lowest mark., but Ive already scored the highest mark for the whole batch of students?)
-I'm human being as well who needs someone to listen to me.(I feel like irrespected when eeverything big or small happenings are out of my realization. I'm not informed about anything.Why when I inform you my feelings, actions, problems and achievements, you make me feeling that Im not part of this home, for Im denied in all ways.)
-I love my family so much, I voice out my candid statement all the times. I never lie to them. Im honest to myself and them. But, they reject everything from me. I can be the 100% good son in others' family but in this house I feel like I am and have nothing. It's blank in my heart, I need some power from my family to revitalize myself. They say Im bad anyway. Isnt this hurting? The kids in the neighborhood skip class, lie and steal. I'm more than ordinary good person I believe. But my parents like them more than me. My family is not defending me when I am scolded and hurted by strangers for no reason at all. Im at the receiving end, I m the victim, I suffer it but I get the blame, they never trust me. They choose to believe anyone other than his own son, despite they know people are making up the story. They still distrust me anyway.
-I try to understand everyone's feeling, nobody WANT to atleast enter my heart to listen to my feeling although to door is wide opened for them. I explore your world, but your door is completely closed and sealed. See you never want me to enter your world and you resist in entering my world as well.
I think Im dying day by day.....Im losing my purpose of living day by day.

How do I react to this? I look for more friends. Soon, I've many friends.
Yet, they are not my true friends, I always've my perception wrong about them.
They are actually the businessman who trade for benefits.
So, I trade with them, asking them to listen to my hurtful story in returns.
I entertain this kind of businessman because they are the source fake hope for me to live.
I dont have a real hope to live for, I can only rely on the fake one in a pathetic way to gain the fake positive energy to go on my journey.

After everything,
It's a sad case when you finally accept the truth that you're nothing but crap.
I'm accepting it after years of proving I'm more than just a piece crap.
Yes, I am now.

The wound

Im not stupid, all I want is some kind of friendship.
There's nothing more than a friendship I want.
It doesnt have to be remembering my B'day every year with lots of surprises and gifts.
Trust me, never a suchlike thing is I want.
What I need  are just some greets and talks.
Are these too much?
So, in my effort to form a stronger bond between me and my friends,
I was willing to do anything...making changes, improving, being better and more helpful.
Nobody is perfect, I cant be perfect!
When Im imperfect, it's time the friendship starts to against me uncontrollably.
This is because the friendship im working hard for is merely using me.
So, when I have nothing to be used, I lose my identity and value.
Now, they step on me and say words that I never expect to hear.
There's a hole my heart now.
My heart bleeds profusely.

Thank you,
Iris Pölzing for being there.

Im not forsaken

Take a hot shower, go out for ''breakfast'' at around 5pm and pamper myself with some games and DVD.
It's time to pamper myself.