Memories about THIS Barbarian.

      I just realize that I need to record down every single moment of life in somewhere. I dont keep a diary, so the place where I write can be on almost anywhere(if it sounds crazy to you..)and of course blogger is always a right place for me. It is widely known that I have this habit of expressing my dissatisfaction about anything on Blogger as well as Facebook. Today, when I read back my old posts I find lots of interesting pieces of me which I hardly know about-I was(and am still) stupid and hot-tempered. Well, realizing this doesn't mean that I will be better or try to be someone who is not me, but I will make sure that I deal with this problem seriously this time. Perhaps I need much more control in this matter. I don't really wanna throw temper tantrum constantly like I did because I know it is harmful. I experienced it once! No, I mean way more than just once. One of my experience was truly horrible and it is still haunting me day and night. I did not know what happened that day when everything was seen fine(I thought it was..), so I went in the room upstairs and tried to had this official stuffs done. I could sense that something was apparently not right, but I didn't care much about the tensed atmosphere(because this was how I usually dealed with stuffs-careless). I was too inexperienced and naive, thinking that only stupid would keep silent for this long, so I spoke out instead. Sarcastically, with his line drawn so unclearly, I was SO unaware of going beyond his line IN his so called territory. Here's where the exciting part of the story begins, he, from then on, kept an evil eye on me. He tried to make things difficult with his well-educated servants back him up. As I was so easily ticked off, I started to behaved like a barbarian again who came undone right away......TO KEEP THE STORY SHORT....That particular man was not much better than me actually. He, himself was a time-bomb. Once exploding the whole world would fall apart. I should have handled him more carefully if I was sane enough to know this earlier. But, naively, I triggered the time-bomb and it exploded right in front of me. That explosion was disastrous. I was lucky that I was not blown into pieces. I survived it and the side effect of this incident is still haunting my life. To be more precisely, I'm so dreaded with the memories that this incident has caused. Now, although I'm moving on and trying hard to live my life however, for each and every single step I take, I will have to take a serious look before I leap. I don't expect to step on another landmine after I survived one. After all these years, I am still in my effort to cast away this terrible past. I'm getting better now. I don't do this anymore when I step out of my room-my safe zone. Deep down in my heart , I'm still mean and wild and my body doesn't always listen to my command..........