Lost

You cannot give up. Must not. Be strong!

Life shows no mercy

I feel horrible. The feeling is traumatic and intensified when the unexpected comes as bad surprise. I am not surprised at all, but badly shocked. It breaks my heart into pieces that no way I can mend it.It came. For the first time ever I thought I could make it and it happened to disappoint me the most.I did not prepare for this and I never had a back door to make an escape. I never knew thing would happen to this extend. I guess I have to really rearrange everything, start planning all over from the inside. I should have prepared my mind about everything that happened today. I found out the deadly mistake and left it unchecked..I'm responsible for it.

The pain is so unbearable but it's good to let the pain burn a scar in my heart that serves a warning not to show empathy to enemies who find chances to hurt me...I get no sympathy from people when I need it.

Summing up for the month of May

31st May, 2012

     I'm not surprised at all when I gain weight. I knew it when I chose to lead a sedentary lifestyle. I never moved my arse from my chair. Anyway, I'm suffering the consequence now..I bet you know how I feel...if you were not born slim and fit forever. When I look back my old photos, I realize that I'm looking older now. So OLD that it surprises me to see the big difference between how I look now with me in the photos taken last year. 
     I just changed my hairstyle yesterday. I will keep on changing like I always do. Not for the way I look but for the way I feel. Many people just don't understand what I really mean when I say so. When we experience more things in life, we feel tired about life. Sometimes those things make us more mature but I believe that they make us old most of the time. I don't want to be lethargic or tired by the ups and downs of life. So, a new hairstyle will serve as a reminder to encourage me to start life anew if I dislike the life I have and work hard to attain the life that I dream of....

Those times

I remember when I was younger I had this little thing for this girl. She was a Chindian. Being a hybrid, she was already so special to me, what attracted me more was her behaviour. I'm sure that many who knew her would say she was weird. I would not say she was weird, I would say special instead. She was defensive, rowdy and sometimes selfish but I found her charming. She was not the kind of girl whom you can come along with easily. Her temper and defense system would challenge your patience for each second. We had so many issues when we worked together because we did not see eye-to-eye about many things. Later, we became closer day by day after spending some time together. I really enjoyed the moment with her and found her truly unique. The whole thing lasted for about a year or so when she suddenly vanished into thin air. Like a magician, she disappeared in a puff of smoke and ended her brilliant show while I was as naive as a kid, still enjoying the show and expecting more surprises. I waited, but the magician never came back again......

More Than Gratitude

It is the end of a period again. Throughout this period, I had too much fun and thrilling moments. I am thankful to be who and where I am.

Grieving

No matter how brave someone claims to be, he would be fear when the darkness comes. We are humans, fearless is not a part of us. So, when we feel that thing is getting out of hand, we probably become pessimistic in a way that we don't take chances, giving up on something before it disappoints us. Deep inside, we have given up ourselves to our fear, allowing it to tear our hearts apart.

How do I do?

Been very busy this week. Have lots of thoughts and feelings to be converted into writing.

Gimme some time.

I will do fine tomorrow.