Losers

Fuck racism, go fuck yourself. :D Losers. If you are good and confident, you do not have to worry about others or different races. Look into YOUR problem, you are being insecure and lacking confidence about yourself. Gain more knowledge and beef up! That's the only cure to save you (racist)....

少女们。。。

有公主病的少女们。。。
一开始盲目的超级有信心，可是很快地就没有信心，
然后就大哭，摆烂逃走。。。

#BitchesBeDoingCool

Scientists are right, guys are never good at multitasking in comparison with girls. My conclusion: BEING A GUY is not easy! We cannot polish our nail and talk on the phone while being bossy about what others are doing. lol

Intensity

How I hope if I were someone else. I hate this feeling of admiring others. They have what I want, what I have been chasing for so long. It gets worse when jealousy starts to raise. I always wonder, should I stop looking up to others. Might it as well cut off the source of motivation? What if I become stagnant? How do I mange myself after this? Should I start a new way of doing things, set new objectives or just sit tight and learn to accept myself? 

I have been questioning myself over and over again, what am I really aiming for this entire time? Am I not reaching my goals? The answer is YES! I have been knocking out every challenge that was in my way. I stepped out of my comfort zone, putting myself deep in uncomfortable situations. I tried to be efficient, and improving in every passing second. Why am I dissatisfied then? Am I trying too hard to reach other unrealistic goals that seem to be so impossible that they gradually change my perception and passion of life? Where is the old me who viewed life with contention and enthusiasm? 

GOSH, I think I am totally burnout...

I do not know when would I be able to make myself-the passionate guy back. Or I never would return to the person I used to be.. Maybe not anymore...

I should quit bottling up my rage and releasing it at others. For the record, I am giving up on many of my dreams.

Quoted

ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.

So I am an excellent kisser... huh.. :P

I Don't Have A Heart

I did not want to click the playlist. I never forgot about its existence since that difficult period. It was always in my mind. In fact, it has been etched in my heart since then...

Today, I listened back to James Ingram. It was still the best music. Sweet melody with meaningful lyrics perfectly matched with his powerful voice and strong emotions. What saddened me was the memories that the songs brought back... I really hated this, I did not want to visualize those heart-broken moments again. I disliked going through the slides of bitter remembrance projected all over again in my brain. It was cruel!

It has been about 6 months since that final day. I never thought I would survive it. Never even expected I could have survived this long and been recovering over time. Yeah, I have been trying. Trying so hard to grasp for air. I refused to let it go, as I wanted to persist, keep standing up, and live with it.

The songs were still playing softly in my brain. The melody did not go away, instead, it slipped through my arteries and flowed in my blood. This was the last thing I ever wanted to happen. Still, it happened anyway. Maybe life wanted to teach me to take my agony face to face and deal with it like a real man. Have it killed once and for all! What if I did not make it?

Although unsure of how far this thinking might bring me to, but I always kept in my mind, that no matter how harsh my situations have gotten, with faith, I know I would face life with courage and one day, I would start life afresh. A life that would be happy and free from all sorts of harm and hazard.

Right now, I am just feeling so bad. The pain is so strong that I can feel it is corroding my heart. I hate it, I do not like it. I feel like crying so much. Somebody please save me from this cold and hopeless dungeon of pain and helplessness.

Get Me Out Of Here

I have a really bad feeling about this impending doom.
Sigh..
... ...