Numb!

Hey my dear blog! It is me again! It was a long day. Things didn't seem to go on smoothly lately but I didn't feel so bad about them. Well, it was untrue to say that they were not taking a heavy toll on me. It was just that I didn't feel the pain as much. Probably things like that could hit me a couple of times more. And I know I will be fine, because who knows how much a broken heart aches in pain can take. It gets numb. The fact that I am still able to feel, it tells me that misfortunes and sadness are damn real, and they may constantly visit and give me a slap in the face! 

I just need a hug. Any free hugs? Anybody...?

It is me alone again

I have finally got what I want. Money has been spent and time has been used up. Somehow I feel a little not being myself. Have a look at myself in the mirror, I am highly geared up, looking so cashy. This is not me. I abused 2 months of uncommitted life. I was supposed to try something different. 

All I have left is a mouthful of excuses. Some lies designed in an attempt to fool myself and others. How dare... People are not blind and dumb. They see everything and talk about it. I could have known this intuitively. Yet, I choose to cover my vision and block my hearing, pretending things would stay the way I wish. A bad choice.

Right now, there is no time for negativity. Hold my head up and have my actions kicked off. This is how I repay those who did good to me. It is okay to take two steps at a time, but only with careful planning and a strong unmovable heart. 

Elijan Owen, keep things up.

Just Like Crêpe!

You feel like a piece of shit when you are surrounded by crappy people.

I'm officially back to my little bloggie.
Thanks for being here for me after everything.

:-)

法国基佬

真的真的很反胃那死法国基佬。真的觉得他没有朋友。
难怪会跟其他男人到处乱搞，
搞到整个google都是他上"基"店的风光伟事。

拜托不要在我面前做死“法”佬的衰样。
忍了4个星期，我都快被他逼疯了！

还要忍多久啊！
面对这种思想变态 的人，
难道我只能去接受吗？

谁可以来把这个怪胎给收走。
收进葫芦也好，
拿去为鳄鱼是最好。

我憋到快爆炸了！
天啊。 =.= ''

发泄完毕。

黑暗

已经沉寂一段时间的“魔鬼”，又在最近复活了。

原本还以为自己早已脱离他的魔掌，结果我错了，他一直都存在着。。

所以，我决定不管了。

与其毫无方向的逃离，不如坚守岗位，把握时机来强化我的领土。

因此，当敌人再次入侵·时，我就有反抗的能力。

目前，就以防守为主吧。

此际，虽然心痛得很，却得一忍再忍。

(也该利用这次的教训来好好反省自己的疏忽，因为这些后果都是自找的。)

忍耐。静观其变。

【给白羊座的1封信】

白羊的人生可以用两个字概括：纠结。不管从哪一方面来说 白羊本身就是一个矛盾的个体。与白羊相恋须知：1.很慢热 我很冷漠 2.很直接 讨厌转弯 3.不喜欢说话 也不喜欢你太吵 4.喜欢自由的感觉 讨厌啰嗦 5.心智很成熟 看事很透彻 6.很绝 7.需要行动证明你爱我。
　　
你的一点关心，心思细腻的白羊会记得你对他的好，把自己的爱毫无保留的送给你，白羊是不被了解的，可他们不会怨谁。他们会傻傻的认为，让我承担吧，别让别人也受到伤害。所以，别让他们最有魅力的笑容成为掩饰痛苦的伪装，认真爱白羊。你会知道白羊的爱，是充满泪水的。
　　
羊羊内心都很善良很柔软。羊羊内在的感性绝对不会亚于双鱼，羊羊真的是毫无心机地活在这个世界上，TA善良得如此无私，往往让人觉得不真实。TA很怕很 怕被人误解，尤其是被自己在乎的人误解。羊羊其实本身真的很正直，确实耍不来心机，即使不被理解，被误解，也依旧试着解释。
　　
白羊的反击力很强，吵架的时侯，羊羊可能会说一些很让人伤心的话，相信我，羊羊真的不是故意的，那是TA的直觉反应，吵架就是要吵赢嘛！羊羊很可能一说出口就 后悔了，可是经常很难拉下脸来，衷心的道歉。不要跟白羊生气，放TA一马我保证TA心里会很感激，对你加倍的好。
　　
羊很懒，不想活得那麽累，能简单尽量简单，不爱解释，始终认为懂自己的不用解释，不懂自己的不必解释，不相管那麽多不相干的事，TA们只挑自己爱做的事，要么不做，要做就做到最好，其实羊羊也是完美主义者，极端主义者，要么破碎，要么完美，不要中间
　　
白羊座，对好朋友可以很热情，乱七八糟聊个不停，对比较普通的朋友很冷淡，聊不上几句就沉默。羊羊很珍惜对他/她好的朋友，TA感觉是坏的，便有意疏离。羊羊的普通朋友很多，好朋友没几个。羊羊很孤独，常常自己一个人，一个人吃饭，一个人上学，一个人逛街，一个人发呆。
　　
白羊真的没办法一心二用，聊手机时会把电影暂停，工作时不知道听的是哪首歌，思考时不知道你在说的什么，因为羊羊的注意力只能集中在其中之一，白羊们更不会去花心，因为羊羊喜欢简单，脚踩两条船对羊羊而言是非常麻烦及复杂的事情，羊羊懒得去做，因为羊羊真的很懒。

To Myself

Old song, old days, old memory, old dream...

Where was the guy from those days?

He is never back anymore.

"And it's hard for me to lose in my life
I've found outside your skin right near the fire
That we can baby
We can change and feel alright"

It is a cycle.

Things always happen the way they should. Nobody has the power to exert control over the occurrences. As minute and powerless beings living in the vast universe, we know we can do nothing more about the chaos. So, silently and helplessly, we choose to back off and expect their next visit. We wait. Waiting desperately in a suppressed feeling over the approaching doom. Painfully, it is probably as much we can do about it.

As wind, they come and go. They, sometimes, bring a layer of dirt that covers your territory of domicile, transforming your home into an eyesore so effortlessly. Sometimes, they bring water vapour that is so refreshing, saving you a smile for the day. Whatever they cause and bring along on their visit, a small level of damage is left behind. Corrosion, rusting, deterioration and wear off  are only some minor effects of the entire process might ultimately bring.

Yet, to sit back and observe the process to take place, is by far the most rational way to deal with it. Aint we all eventually learn to accept at the final stage of grief and loss?

Mar - A remembrance

24号8月2013 - 一些从不说出口的内心话

朋友的毕业典礼。。。一张张快乐的照片。。。。一些曾经认识，但却不常说话的朋友。。。

这样的夜晚，看着学长上载的照片，不禁鼻酸起来。我真的疯了，越老越感性。朋友毕业了，即使不熟却有点不舍得起来。毕竟，这些年一个人在外头为追梦而奋斗，这一张张面孔一丝丝记忆已经成为我成长的一部分。 3年了。这3年你们都在我的脑海里不时出现。这么一别，真的觉得大家各奔前程，个忙各的了。

再过一两年， 就是与我非常熟悉的战友的毕业典礼。是否会有更深的感触？我知道，我一定会有。这里是一个非常奇妙的地方，它弥补了我已经错过了的童年和少年的疯狂记忆。我的蜕变。。也是在这里被社会，人群和考验洗礼后而产生的。大家毕业后，我正式少了我的“记忆工厂。”  

无法忘记第一个月见到他们时，我是一个生涩的新生！哈哈。NOOB到～～ 还记得一个人快病死在这里。。。哈哈，自Hi了～ 我终于成为一个有记忆的人了，原来有属于自己的记忆后滋味是这么幸福，幸福中却带有一丝丝的苦涩。这种苦涩也衬托出别段记忆中的快感和甜蜜

但愿命运让我们来日再相逢。
（如果成为我的对手，我会狠心的杀无赦 ：） 学长也不例外）

记忆。感谢。朋友。祝福。

M-ess-ish.

The stupidity of humans lies upon their unwillingness to face the reality. The stupidest 5-combo lies ever.

I Have LONG GONE and MOVED ON.

Sometimes tears say all there is to say. Sometimes your first scars won't ever fade away.
Tried to break my heart, well it's broken. Tried to hang me high, well I'm choked.

All You Never Say

If only I could look into your mind, maybe then I'd find a sign of all I want to hear you say to me, to me....

A Repost - A Reminder

Unbelievably, I used to say this. I cannot trust my eyes about what I wrote, my spirit was so high!

"The way to get unstuck is to give yourself a kick in the butt. I am not gonna be here forever. I belong at the top."

- Chin Ang.

心情很糟。谁可以给我一个拥抱？

A Soldier Who Was Walking Through The Darkest Valley

Unpleasant happenings just invaded him without telltale signs. At this juncture, his heart broke into pieces. When he was completely unprepared, his pride and ego were taken away from him. Outside, the weather was scorching hot. Yet, the temperature in the room was freezing cold. But nothing was colder than a disheartened soul, telling its numb container to find an exit from this embarrassment.  For the first time in this year, he felt so powerless and incapable and to sneak out from this reality was all on his mind. This poor man must have a hard time to accept the shocking truth. He was immediately transformed into a nobody from a somebody, dragging his exhausted body all the way from the rowdy crowd to his quiet hideout. 

Each move taken is a step towards the unpredictable future.

Life is a game of making choices. Regret, guilt, confusion or perplexity is the price one has to pay in her lifetime. As she grows up, she makes life choices in order to move on. As ugly as the reality is, whether or not to make a choice this time is no longer an option of hers. Be it good or bad, it is a forceful yet miraculous turning point of life. It is the moment where she begins to take up her responsibilities and accomplish her life choices, in hope of realizing her anticipations, dreams and promises being made. Despite of her faint control over the outcomes, surprises and miracles are hidden in the unforeseeable future. Even when a failure that arises subsequent to twice the commitment might not make it a bad choice, as the worst choice itself can never be a complete worthless. And it will be too irrational to be saddened by negativity, as she would never discover how much she has grown stronger when she is drowning in sorrow and sadness.

For now, she will just bear with it. But it is okay, as the time elapses, 'it' will teach her to doubt less, and unleash her maturity to handle the myths of life....by accepting it.

Life is full of contradictions: people struggle to end their despair, even though they know that despair actually means to give up.

Everybody's one way ticket.

It is the price one has to pay for wanting to grow up so badly. He will keep on with this naive thinking, until one day, the hair on his face starts to grow, and the promises he made begin to burden him. Then, he may realize that he cannot walk away from his responsibilities like he used to. His anticipations have turned to desperation. Too late, he has departed for his one way journey. Throughout the journey, his life only gets harder and more arduous. Without realizing his happy childhood was the only moment in which time could be frozen, he has walked down the path of no return with his leg chained to debt.

Without A Word

Hey you can tell the world
That you're leaving
And you can pack your bags
And spread your wings
And you can tell them all
That it's over
But while you wave goodbye
I'll be getting closer

Stand there and look into my eyes
And tell me that all we had were lies
Show me that to you don't care
And I'll stay here if you prefer
Yes I'll leave you without a word
Without a word

And you can tell the world
That you're tired
But your excuses, they won't work
'Cause I'll know that you're lying
Every time that I see your face
I notice all the suffering
Just turn to my embrace
I won't let you come to nothing

Stand there and look into my eyes
And tell me that all we had were lies
Show me that to you don't care
And I'll stay here if you prefer
Yes I'll leave you without a word
Without a word

已经好几年了。你最近好吗？

我找不到　我到不了　你所謂的將來的美好
我什麼都不要　知不知道　若你懂我　這一秒

我懷念的是無話不說　我懷念的是一起做夢 
　我讓座　假灑脫　誰懂我多麼不捨得 太愛了　
所以我　沒有哭　沒有說 

白羊座

 

白羊座一向被人們看作：火爆，衝動甚至沒有大腦的情緒化阿一星座。就是這個在外表看來開朗無比的星座，在難過的時候卻出奇的安靜，自己療傷，自己恢復，自己在自己的世界裡試圖遺忘悲傷，受傷的白羊總是會做出一些看似正常實則不同於以往的事情。不要看羊平時樂呵呵的其實羊有時候滿悲觀的

The picture explained why his dad acted that way. And the story below explained why the picture was depicted that way.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

Quoted from FB

良好的心理健康，
来自于接受你在生活各领域的真正自我！

Endings

It is a really very dull story. The ending is always the same, and that same is that it ends. 

June 29, 2013

Troubled mind doesn't go away. Minipop and Mindy Gledhill lighten me up a bit.
(I will not live like this forever.......Man up!!)

给跟我一样，正在努力的人。

我们都来自于心里。内里，有着一团烟霾与我们并存。它由始至终都存在着、包围着我们。恨它的，认为它是一团厌恶的气体，不断地阻碍视线。懂它的，认为它是一股动力，驱使着我们勇敢向前迈进，从而离开这股烟霾。不同的人，对'它'有着不同的见解，因而采取了不同的行动。有人远离它；有人则锻炼自己的内心，让他更强更大，心境变大了，烟霾自然就被淡化掉了。有时，这股烟霾确实把我们逼向绝路。无奈，它与我们是一体的。要是它消失了，我们也就不在了。所以，不是逃避它，而是正视它，再远离它。千里之行始于足下。最终，或许它不是把你逼向窘境，而是把你带领到美丽的晴空下。我也正在努力中。一起乐观，加油！

A Made A Confession

Teachers today do not give a damn about the students. All I see about them are their feelings of insecurity and being superior in the class. They constantly challenge the students to speak. They will keep doing it until you are challenged down. It is pointless since they mostly intend to wipe out your confidence, instead of training your thinking and speaking ability, as whatever being said always and always ends up to be humiliated awfully. Even when you are made clear that you can ask any relevant question or make requests for further explanation, you get a taste of their defensive attitude at last. How I love to see when our teachers are in the face of outspoken students who can talk everything down. Ironically, this kind of students would never be 'invited' to speak a word, even though they are clearly excellent students. Well, if this happens once in a blue moon in your class, you would see that teacher shivers and over-reacts right away, when his safe zone is invaded. :) Good luck to all learners today.

Have been not really happy lately, but trying to look on the bright side of life. Anyway, the way to get unstuck is to give yourself a kick in the butt. I am not gonna be here forever. I belong at the top.

I need a girl friend. Too afraid to approach either of them.

Listening to Skylar Grey, it calms me with great solitary feeling.

Call 911

I have been having nightmares lately. It seems like it has started to take its silent moves.

Finally it has all ended.

I will keep my love unspoken somewhere in my broken heart.

Ultimate Shame

It is sad to see how the international news are reporting the victory of the wicked and evil, and accusing the victims for denying the defeat. The saddest thing is, it has become a matter of racism centered on the yellow-skinned. Wait a minute, isn't it a matter for all MALAYSIANS, instead of this mono-colour's? Think about it, we wouldn't have come this far if there wasn't a united effort by all. Although not far enough to the ultimate triumphant, it should be a bridge to stronger bond between the people, not a rupture.

I Am Not Gonna Think About The Future

Loneliness like this, wont last forever. 
Lone, being alone, I am alone, the solitary loner.

forever be.... 

It is time to wake up. It's not gonna be easy. So watch out!

煎熬啊。。。。！

很累啊！！！！真的真的很疲惫！
整颗头好累，好重 ，很酸。。。
救命

Safe & Sound

Even if the sky is falling down. I know that we'll be safe and sound.

S.O.S

Today onwards, my life is gonna be harder.
Tomorrow is the beginning of everything ugly.
Oh Lord.. Guide me through it.

Losers

Fuck racism, go fuck yourself. :D Losers. If you are good and confident, you do not have to worry about others or different races. Look into YOUR problem, you are being insecure and lacking confidence about yourself. Gain more knowledge and beef up! That's the only cure to save you (racist)....

少女们。。。

有公主病的少女们。。。
一开始盲目的超级有信心，可是很快地就没有信心，
然后就大哭，摆烂逃走。。。

#BitchesBeDoingCool

Scientists are right, guys are never good at multitasking in comparison with girls. My conclusion: BEING A GUY is not easy! We cannot polish our nail and talk on the phone while being bossy about what others are doing. lol

Intensity

How I hope if I were someone else. I hate this feeling of admiring others. They have what I want, what I have been chasing for so long. It gets worse when jealousy starts to raise. I always wonder, should I stop looking up to others. Might it as well cut off the source of motivation? What if I become stagnant? How do I mange myself after this? Should I start a new way of doing things, set new objectives or just sit tight and learn to accept myself? 

I have been questioning myself over and over again, what am I really aiming for this entire time? Am I not reaching my goals? The answer is YES! I have been knocking out every challenge that was in my way. I stepped out of my comfort zone, putting myself deep in uncomfortable situations. I tried to be efficient, and improving in every passing second. Why am I dissatisfied then? Am I trying too hard to reach other unrealistic goals that seem to be so impossible that they gradually change my perception and passion of life? Where is the old me who viewed life with contention and enthusiasm? 

GOSH, I think I am totally burnout...

I do not know when would I be able to make myself-the passionate guy back. Or I never would return to the person I used to be.. Maybe not anymore...

I should quit bottling up my rage and releasing it at others. For the record, I am giving up on many of my dreams.

Quoted

ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.

So I am an excellent kisser... huh.. :P

I Don't Have A Heart

I did not want to click the playlist. I never forgot about its existence since that difficult period. It was always in my mind. In fact, it has been etched in my heart since then...

Today, I listened back to James Ingram. It was still the best music. Sweet melody with meaningful lyrics perfectly matched with his powerful voice and strong emotions. What saddened me was the memories that the songs brought back... I really hated this, I did not want to visualize those heart-broken moments again. I disliked going through the slides of bitter remembrance projected all over again in my brain. It was cruel!

It has been about 6 months since that final day. I never thought I would survive it. Never even expected I could have survived this long and been recovering over time. Yeah, I have been trying. Trying so hard to grasp for air. I refused to let it go, as I wanted to persist, keep standing up, and live with it.

The songs were still playing softly in my brain. The melody did not go away, instead, it slipped through my arteries and flowed in my blood. This was the last thing I ever wanted to happen. Still, it happened anyway. Maybe life wanted to teach me to take my agony face to face and deal with it like a real man. Have it killed once and for all! What if I did not make it?

Although unsure of how far this thinking might bring me to, but I always kept in my mind, that no matter how harsh my situations have gotten, with faith, I know I would face life with courage and one day, I would start life afresh. A life that would be happy and free from all sorts of harm and hazard.

Right now, I am just feeling so bad. The pain is so strong that I can feel it is corroding my heart. I hate it, I do not like it. I feel like crying so much. Somebody please save me from this cold and hopeless dungeon of pain and helplessness.

Get Me Out Of Here

I have a really bad feeling about this impending doom.
Sigh..
... ...

Music Time. Exhausted Time.

I wish if were an artist, a singer, a songwriter, a composer, a superstar. I have this dream of making music, dancing and drowning in my own world of music. I just wish if my life was going on the other way. I would be great with my persistence in pursuing my music dream! Unfortunately, all these aren't for me in this life. Perhaps I should start looking and being thankful for what I have.

People Help The People

If you are homesick, gimme your hand and I will hold it.

Local Production...? Cool

A guy with a voice, which is softer than a girl's. But who cares... In this dimension, let's care about quality music and STFU... Enjoy!

Hate This Shit

Wore braces for almost 2 years, had my teeth fixed after that. My laziness did not teach me the habit of wearing retainer every night. Now, my evil buck teeth are back! I am going to suffer the pain and go through another torturing year of wearing braces... which is an expensive procedure!!!! Oh and I will need tooth bleaching after that.. Looking for a better dental clinic now..

Salute! Do not feel guilty.

I thought I killed the zombie, because I was doing what was thought necessary. It was a threat! My carelessness during the fight gave me a deadly whack. I was infected by zombie virus! Now, I am in the first stage of zombification and people start to hate me.

I am tired. We all have our untold stories. Respect! Respect! Respect! When you expect much respect from others, particularly from those cowards, who do not open up and be honest about the happening. So, they compromise.. and together, they silent the warrior.

Salute! You are committed and others just don't give a damn about your devotion and the hardships you go through.

Barely Breathing

I'm already broken, already gone, already know you're moving on.
I'm a breathing, talking, dead man, walking..

Nostalgic

You say it is over, but we are working on today. My sunshine you make me feel alive.
You know you are my only one, you know you are my whole life.

Nothing Good To Say

Dear blog, I have so much to say recently. But do not know where to begin from. I hope I can contain more of those unhappy stories in me. Nobody likes his stories to be known by others. Right now, I find no other better ways to express them out, not even here. So, I guess I will take them with me for a little longer. I wish I could handle the up and down of my life during this critical moment. Things in this life are getting complicated and challenging, they occupy every inch of my space and flow in every ounce of my blood. Anyway, I know it's just a matter of time before I write out on here. As usual I will keep the good and proud stories aside, leaving the bad  incidents to be shared with my poor little blog. Stay strong, stay motivated and love life! Blog, let's survive this with me. Be with me.

Tick tock, time to slip away...

I go away, I go away, I go my own way.
Go away, go away....

FIRE up!

Shit wake up already!!! Omg.... Look at the clock, what time is it?
I am not supposed to be in my bed!

What is good and being good?

Ill thinking, Ill speech, Ill feeling

All this bad blood here, won't you let it dry?
It's been cold for years, won't you let it lie?

I don't wanna hear about the bad blood anymore.
I don't wanna hear you talk about it anymore...

Bastille.

Signs

I have a sad feeling today. My heart aches..

Phobia That Hinders...

Fear... Fear.... Fear......

I don't want to be held back by fear.

I want to enjoy my fantasy without the restrain of fear.

 I want to move on, to overcome, and to surpass.

What makes it so hard?

Fear.

See Him Through?

Are You Spurred Into Action By This?

     You have come so far. You are finally happy about the life you are having. Don't you dare forget about what you went through. The happenings in life are never constant. When you are on the top, you enjoy it. When you are overjoyed, you probably forget about the road to this marvelous point of life. Humans are forgetful after all. Egoistically, you might wipe out your appreciation of your current life and forget about who and what bring you here. You no long remember about constant improvement, as you become too comfortable to everything. You start to take things for granted...

    The truth is, there will not be anything constant in life. A minute of procrastination and hesitation, you lose grasp to what you have achieved. You are sent back to the point of starting, where you own nothing. Everything is back to zero again... It will be too late to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted...

"Men shed blood before tears?"....I Don't Give A Damn About It.

I still remember the tears and blood I shed while my body shivered in pain. Tears and blood of anguish that flowed from the deepest of my soul took a heavy toll on my perception of life, whilst the pain that tortured my body was as a needle, buried deeply in my chest, giving me a constant ache of hopelessness. I believe my difficult situations will spur me on to succeed. The world's acknowledgement will be obtained in 7 years of blood, sweat and tears. I will make those who are on my side proud about my existence. 

不是废物

一个人要忍耐这样的羞辱，这本身就需要更大的勇气。
但这个人的头并没有低下 ，他的眼神，似乎也没有羞愧得无地自容。
相反，居然显示出一种不可思议的平静，来面对奇耻大辱。
当一个人的心中，有着更高的山峰想去攀登时，他就不会在意脚下的泥沼。
才可能用最平静的方式去面对一般人难以承受的痛苦。

May God Bless You

Thankful thankful thankful....
This is all I feel, being grateful for what I have.
Thank you my lord, my family, and my friends.
I hope I could do much for you some day.

Dust and Trash Have Been Gotten Rid Of...

Howdy, my poor little blog. Sorry for being away for this long.
Now, I am back with you, my companionship is guaranteed.
I finally return to my position, getting all ready for my next fight.
You and I will be just fine with the blessings of our beloved family.

Hmm...

兩個動作看你的性格--

*動作１. 兩手直覺十指交握*
握好沒，別偷看答案...

A.左手拇指在上--“U”
B.右手拇指在上--“SA”


*動作２. 雙手直覺交錯抱胸*
* 抱好沒，別偷看答案....

A.右手臂在上--“U”
B.左手臂在上--“SA”

將動作1和動作2的結果（共兩個字）順序組合起來，你的結果是？

這是日本的〔USAUSA~UNO SANO URANA)性格診斷，
利用人類左右腦各司其職的特性，
設計了簡單的兩個慣性動作，
分辨出這個人習慣以
左腦（主理性，語言，計算，分析）
右腦（主感性，直覺，想像，創造），
來做為解讀訊息用的〝接收腦〞，還是決定怎麼說，
怎麼行動的〝傳達腦〞 進而瞭解一個人的潛在性格與行為模式.

動作１、兩手直覺十指交握〈顯示一個人〝接收腦〞的慣用情形〉

A.左手拇指在上--意思是接收訊息時優先使用感性為主的右（U）
B.右手拇指在上--意思是接收訊息時優先使用理性為主的左（SA）

動作２、雙手直覺交錯抱胸〈顯示一個人〝傳達腦〞的慣用情形〉

A.右手在上--意思是傳達訊息時優先使用感性為主的右腦（U）
B.左手在上--意思是傳達訊息時優先使用理性為主的左腦（SA）

* **結果分析：* **

女性_
*１. SASA女
性格：無堅不摧的鐵娘子：為人一本正經，給人精明幹練的距離 感，若跟莎莎女成為好友，則是值得依賴的好幫手，但成為敵人，就會非常難纏！
戀愛：想太多的自我設限：交往前會想太多，對戀愛小心翼翼，不過很容易因此放棄，對主動告白的異性會難以招架，不過要小心反被聰明誤！

*２. USA女
性格：人情的好聽眾：散發出安心，溫柔，善解人意的氣質，是一個人人都想跟妳說心事的好聽眾，如果別人苦苦哀求妳，總是很難拒絕別人！
戀愛：難以爽快脫身：雖然會理性評估對方，不過一但陷入熱戀，就完全被感性主導，當熱情不在時，很容易因對方對自己的依賴而無法爽快分手!

*３. UU女
性格：直覺行事的俠女：熱血又充滿個人魅力，會突然失控大笑或大哭，但都是出自真心，因此頗受朋友喜歡，最明顯的就是購買東西完全憑感覺，就算不實用或已有相同款式還是想買！
戀愛：單純的愛情至上者：以自己心理的感覺為主，不會參考對方或客觀因素來決定自己下一步舉動，若對對方很有好感，一整天就像春暖花開，如果對方疑似劈腿，也會驚天動地大哭一場，但也很容易變心！

*４. SAU女
性格：陽剛味的大姊大：因為冷靜觀察與分析的性格，在同性之間很容易展現氣慨與責任感，常常是女生之間的大姊大，但掌握全場之餘又不失冷靜觀察！
戀愛：有目標的下手：操控自己的感覺，能冷靜分析對方是否適合自己，一旦鎖定目標，就會用盡方法維持熱度，雖然嚴謹以對，但內心總有一把不可告人的浪漫烈火！


男性_
*５. SASA男
性格：超級理性的數位人：完全以左腦為主的男性，以步驟跟數位為行事的准則，總是條理分明，不太能察覺感情，所以會給人固執，偏執的感覺！
戀愛：慢熱專情的完美主義：會在心中描繪完美形象，面對! 真實感情卻顯得慢熱自閉，一旦點燃熱情後，就會持續專情，就算對方回應冷淡，莎莎男仍念茲在茲，從一而終！

*６. USA男
性格：情義相挺的漢子：雖然看似冷酷，其實很重感情，會以直覺印象為出發點，然後再以堅決的步伐行事，就是那種看你順眼，就會收你做徒弟，挺你的那種大哥！
戀愛：不打沒有把握的仗：戀愛成功機率很高，一旦確認對方也對自己有好感後，就會火力全開，不過愛得深，對女方的要求跟猜疑也很深！

*７. UU男
性格：永遠樂觀的國王：因為相信自己的直覺，所以會顯得自信滿滿，率直天真，壞處就是對不感興趣的事，也絲毫不想掩飾，會顯得興趣缺缺甚至默不關心！
戀愛：自我得意的攻勢：很容易自我沉溺在熱戀氣氛中，不過太過率直樂觀的個性，可能會誤解別人對你是否有好感，陷入自我得意的陷井中！

*８. SAU男
性格：智囊分析者：喜歡探求理與擅長分析，常是旁人意見的給予者，給人一種冷靜穩當的感覺，不喜歡與人爭吵，很能妥善地處理事情！
戀愛：可能性至上：把自己喜不喜歡對方放在其次，反而以跟對方能否發展下去為第一前提，是個很適合愛情長跑或結婚的對象！

Happy Chinese New Year!

THE ULTIMATE POST-MATURE UNWIND MOOD HITS ME SUDDENLY AND SURPRISINGLY!

Magical Numbers

HALF year of challenge, 

ONE month of torture, 

TWO weeks of pain, 

THREE days of agony,

giving birth to INDEFINITE inspirations that bless the prepared mind.

I shall live through the final moments of the remaining days with sufficient commitments.

Don't give up on me baby...

Embrace The Night, Fighter!

At this moment, the night begins to enter its sleeping mode. The creatures that inhabits under the starry dark sky begin to slip into their dreamland silently and peacefully. The heartbeat of the city slows down to its normal rate, and the world dozes off into the serenity of the eerily silent night.

.....well Im here to tell you that, I am bloody awake, worrying for tomorrow's shit!...... Oh I am so scared!

P/S I want to write this post nicely but I cant! Tomorrow is a big day! LOL

Quoted From FB

有的人，认真爱过一次以后就不敢再随便爱了，因为怕重蹈覆辙，怕感情的伤害，怕心灵变得更累。所以，我们都失去了深爱的能力。

Confession.

Tomorrow is the long waited day. I know I have to face the music eventually.
I have prepared my mind to accept what is coming up.
Despite lacking of confidence, I should take this hated feeling as I anticipated,
for my lackadaisical was the contributing factor of this impending doom.
I want to get over it. I know I have to be positive on this matter,
and I know I have no better options but to survive it and to live with it.
In the coming day, I am all ready to confront this regardless of the unknown implication.
As there are no mistakes, only lessons that enrich my experience.

I need drugs!

I'm cannot fall asleep although my body is exhausted. This life is too stressful! I'll fall sick again if I don't get enough of rest. My brain doesn't shut off from thinking and worrying. I am breaking down. I need drugs...

Gratitude

Thank you, for being kind to me.
I am grateful. I love you.

“文”人

最近情绪很糟，突然间想起自己曾经被一“个”长辈叫做乞丐。
还重复了两次。对于这句话，我这一辈子都会记住的。

真的是没有文化。

Stole It From FB

Lord, where can I find some close friends?
I dont open up to others. I know I should learn to believe in friendships.
I hate this insecurity. I could have more bosom friends without it.

I had a very bad day.

  I guess I just survived another day.
  It was a bad day. What I felt was the emptiness.

  There was nothing else filling my life.
  How long could I last before telling myself to quit thinking that I still had dreams?

Fucking life you are bloody fucking kidding me, are you?

Life is a bitch. It just fucked me!

Dying for love.. I am dying.

I need a hug.
I need love.

Oh Lord..

Officially a voter? ... That isnt the point.

Im turning into an adult in 2 months more.
I wish I could return to 15 years old.
The adult world is complicated and harsh.
I dont know how long I can take this.

Try to make it work but man these times are hard.

YOLO = I live to die.

The Script!!!!!!!
The best band ever, although they cant sing.
But the songs are just nice, good lyrics that are close to my feelings at times.
Always hope i could sing and play music instrument.
I would abandon my current life for my music dream if i could perform either of those.

Done day dreaming.
I guess I would only pursue my music dream if my life restarted.
I am too old for it even if my talent in music industry unleashed all in a sudden.
Especially after my teenage life.

HAHA
P/S Before I forget to mention something negative on my blog AS USUAL, I wanna say that I really hate some people lately. LOL just wanna share something negative as a common procedure. Dont really hate 'em that much....

Throlling my own blog that has no readers haha
what a lonely dude

Why Cant I dream?

It was not a good day today. Laughed and joked a lot, none of them came from my heart. Felt sad but pretended to be happy, so i looked fine in the eyes of others. Tried all efforts to strive but realized the outcome was no more than just fruitless. Smiled at others, and even consoled the broken hearts of others...even though my heart had already been broken into fragments from the beginning. 

Quoted From A Teacher

雄鹰在鸡窝里长大，就会失去飞翔的本领，
野狼在羊群里成长，也会爱上羊而丧失狼性。
人生的奥妙就在于人相处。
生活的美好则在于送人玫瑰。
和聪明的人在一起，你才会更加睿智。
和优秀的人在一起，你才会出类拔萃。
所以，你是谁并不重要，
重要的是，你和谁在一起。

无论过去发生过什么，
你要坚信，最好的尚未到来。
人要把握时机，把应当做的事做好，
错过了就无法重来！

Made friend with a fucking successful chinese who claimed himself as gay.
His lame and misleading speech is very entertaining though. = ='